Cycles

Last night, I recorded many of the runs that I’ve enjoyed the past 11 years in Eugene. I made a little book for Liz and Bethany so they don’t have to think at 5:30 in the morning. As I was writing down the runs, it finally hit that I’m leaving and that I’ll really miss this place and the amazing friendships I’ve made here. I remembered the runs, the conversations on those runs, and the places we’ve been along our lives. It’s been good, and rewarding, and I want to keep it. But you can’t incapsulate a time and place and live in it forever. Things change… they begin, they grow, they leave, and then a new cycle begins again. I’m at the end of a wonderful cycle where I’ve been so lucky with friends and daughters. Now I embrace a new cycle, full of hope and no expectations.

This time tomorrow, I’ll be in the air. Destination: Mexico. A new beginning.

Read Full Post »

F

Siempre estás conmigo
Te llevo en mi corazón

Read Full Post »

F l o w

Surrender is the handmaiden of grace.

Read Full Post »

Invested in Ego

Poor Patrick Sabot. Even though his life was relatively uncomplicated, Patrick created plenty of drama through incessant worrying and needless guilt. A day did not pass where he couldn’t find justification to feel sorry for himself. His unquiet mind was a hotbed for histrionics.

Read Full Post »

Fixed

Frank and his friends never changed.

Read Full Post »

Gut sense

Chloe wasn’t sure how to proceed, or even if she should proceed. She didn’t know what lay ahead. The future was an indeterminate fog and she couldn’t see a thing except the small step in front of her. So she advanced forward into that space believing that by the time she got to wherever it was she was going, she would discover more space to step into. It was more about trust than about a plan.

————–

Yesterday, Amanda introduced me to Pandora. Am I the last person who knows about this? I couldn’t tear myself away last night. I’m going to recommend it to Caroline .

Read Full Post »

Wide and shuffled

Caroline desired more spontaneity in her life. She set her iPod to shuffle and began greeting random shoppers by widening her eyes at them.

Read Full Post »

Toothy regards

Ali was new to town. He needed help in making friends.

Read Full Post »

Moment to moment

It had been a rough go for Constance. After the manager had stripped her of her hair, she had been left in storage where rats had picked at her face, leaving scars. Then a few months ago, she was put back on display, modeling a feather headband. One of the girls, Britney, had wanted the feather band for herself. But the manager disallowed it as the feathers clashed with the molted, nested, and curious wedding dress Britney leaned on and couldn’t part with. So Britney stood behind Constance with her broken arm directed at the back of C’s head, wishing live bullets would fire from her rifle shoulder and into C, destroying her (but preserving the feather band). Such was the negativity that Constance had to cope with.

But despite all these things, Constance was at peace. She had learned to maintain internal alignment with external circumstances even under chaotic conditions. How? She had narrowed her life down to the present; and in each individual moment, she was free. Constance could meditate on the gap between Rosie’s teeth for days.

Read Full Post »

Toe gaze

Annabelle appreciates the small things. She notices the way light streams through the blinds in the morning and weaves itself around the store, creating patterns on the heads of her friends. She loves it when little girls gaze up at her and smile until a parent moves them along. Just recently, she’s been admiring her new pedicure that her dear friend gifted her. Whenever she stares at her toes, she enjoys their vibrancy. Her friend’s kind face floats up in her mind and Annabelle sits in abundance of appreciation.

Read Full Post »

Kept

Sheila was a kept dog living in a glass dome. She was perpetually safe and pretty. Yet in her heart of hearts she longed for a zipper of trail, dirt, and smelling posts. She would keep the gold eye shadow.

Read Full Post »

In Grace

When you have to let something go, let it go with grace. When something comes, let it come in grace. And there’s one simple thing to understand: Whether you give or share, or are kind or not, do not ever let your grace fall.

Yogi Bhajan

Read Full Post »

Flutter

This past week I spent time with Karen and Amanda in Portland, went to The Oregon Country Fair with Mala, Eric, and Nehali, and hung out at Tiny Tavern with friends where the bartender played Tom Waits the entire evening.   Despite frequent stand-offs with Jackie, Steiner’s (free-roaming) iguana, it’s all good.

This week’s recommendations:

• The bus
• Flutter in Portland
• The Fall
• Hanging out with Amanda

Read Full Post »

Time spent here

The time spent here in Rolla was heart warming. I enjoyed every second. I think it’s because I knew there was a possibility I won’t be here again or seeing these people again. It made me slow down and enjoy each interaction with every person.

I suppose that in the past, I might have overlooked how special this place is. The carnival and the fireworks were phenomenal. This July 4th was the most spectacular show ever. And the patriotic music and overall circulating camaraderie touched a proud American vein I didn’t realize existed within me.

We stayed up until 5:30am the next morning after the family/neighborhood BBQ. It was a lot of fun, a lot of kids, and a lot of jello shots. It was so nice being surrounded by family with the little ones running all over the place and deep into the morning. I knew Bobby’s nieces when they were little. Now they’re grown with children of their own. I appreciated spending this time with them to know them as adults and play with their children.

After a few hours of sleep, we headed over to Six Flags and spent the entire day there. It was Denton’s first time on a roller coaster. Suprisingly, the lines were thin and short, and we got our fill in of rides and water park. By the end of the day, we collapsed into the car, tired, happy, and ready to go home.

Yesterday, we floated down the the Huzzah River and Meramac. The rivers here are gorgeous. It was peaceful, beautiful, and reminiscent of summers past. Afterwards, we drove by our favorite campsite and Denton and I went on a trail run. There are so many memories here.

Keelin and I fly home today. Marly and Denton are off to Vermont. This time here has been very special; even moreso because I savoured every moment. I know these times, the people and places, won’t come again. Not like this. But I suppose you can say that for any moment.

Read Full Post »

Growing up

The end of June was spent reminiscing Eugene and a chapter closing as I bundled up boxes filled with letters, photos, and mementos.  These first few days in July reach back even further as I wander around the small, Midwest town Marlena and Keelin were born in, where I spent my 20′s.  A town I couldn’t wait to leave. 

But now that I’m here, I am astonishingly nostalgic for a time gone past.  Rolla has its charms.  The memories arise from every turn of the corner, every expanse of road, all of them breathing once again inside of me. These were sacred and precious times, as is this first week in July.

Read Full Post »